Make Resolutions that Make You Awesome

It's time for many people to figure out how 2012 is going to be the best year to date, and the time-honored "New Year's Resolution" is upon us. Here are some tips to make the resolutions work for you and not against you.

Avoid all pass/fail resolutions:

Let's use cake as an example: The resolution is "I resolve to not eat cake". It will work, maybe for the first six weeks of the new year. Then Valentine's Day catches you at a weak point, and cake happens. There's an "aw schucks" hands-in-the-air moment, and you spend the rest of the year having failed. The resolution is dead.

Using a pass/fail goal sets you up for failure and then lets you off the hook when the failure happens. It's the easy way out of a New Year's resolution. This method also puts you in a confrontational situation with cake. YOU VS. CAKE is not a productive way to live. Cake isn't going anywhere, and is a strong contender. Cake tends to win. Cake is like Chuck Norris.

So let's analyze: Why the cake? There's usually a health-based reason behind it. We just need to design a healthier set of resolutions to fit it.

1. Make a specific ongoing goal:

First things first—we need to get rid of the chance of failure. To stick with the cake example, we can resolve to pay attention to our diet in general—"Every time I eat food, I will pay attention to how my body feels". Now there's no pass or fail, only an observation. Notice what cake does you a minute after, an hour later, when you're trying to sleep at night. You'll start to develop the habit of listening inward to cake. Perhaps you'll notice the sugar spike, perhaps you'll realize it's harder to fall asleep, and perhaps nothing much happens at all. Remembering these feelings will help you pick foods that make you feel healthier.

2. Make a general affirmative goal:

Now we decide on a general notion, like "eat more greens" or "try out smaller portions". Make this resolution a positive, pro-active one, but don't set specific criteria. Something with the word "more" should suffice.

Resolutions shouldn't be about avoidance. They should be about developing great habits and self-improvement. The above two techniques will have you consistantly referring to your resolutions. The resolution gets reinforced through repetition. And repetition is what will ultimately make the good habits stick. You're self-improving! And it won't stop, because you'll always notice more and more. In Sanskrit, this notion is called "viveka" and is roughly translated as "discernment". Design your goals as an aid for improvement and you'll be more discerning in no time.

So that's an improvement-style resolution. What if we want to accomplish something specific this year, like writing a book or hiking the Appalachian Trail?

1. Tell somebody: You'll need some help on a big project, so find somebody who's done it. Ask them how they did it, and figure out a timeline. Remember, stuff worth doing is going to take dedication. Go!

2. Don't tell everybody: Watch this video before Facebooking your goal! Derek Sivers says it's better to keep goals secret. Think about people you know who declare they're going to do one amazing thing after another: Have they ever done them? Save the news for the accomplishment, not the intention.

May everyone have a wonderful, safe and content 2012!

Warmly,

-Richard